The head bangers thread.... Spanish style

[Guanche]

Where to start? Firstly it took me a couple of days to come up with a title for this thread. I thought of many, but was worried that it may bring the forum into disrepute with the Spanish legal system, you know calling it what it is ....corrupt and fucking useless! So I came up with the head banging thing, as it only helps when you stop doing it and join the brain dead.

It's difficult to describe our house. It has two entrances. The garage at main road level thats controlled by Santa Cruz, and the front door that's at the end of a narrow lane that leads into the village. It goes past four houses, our nearest neighbours including Pedro. Its controlled by the local council. The lane runs down hill and ends at our front door. We have a system of large drains and grates that allows rain water to travel under the house into the municipal canal that feeds the finca's. There is a lot of rain water! There was a derelict house with a large garden half way up the lane and it seemed it was abandoned. No problems all was well.

One day three years ago a builder appeared on the scene. He had bought the abandoned three walls with no roof and a garden. He proceeded to build a four bedroom two bathroom triple garage, swimming pool and out buildings and tile over the entire plot. ALL ON AN OBERA MINOR!

To be fair we didn't care it took an eye sore away from the lane..... until he flushed the swimming pool!! the whole lot came in a tide down our path. The grates and drains just stopped it entering the house!!

Now we didn't really take much notice of the build as we only use the upstairs for dressing and very rarely spend much time up there. But when we inspected the new building we found that he had put two 110m drain pipes and two 40m pipes straight out into the lane!! All the water from the swimming pool and all the rain water from the now tiled garden spurted out into the lane and down towards out front door. Normal rain it could stand but this deluge was to much.

So we approached him and got the bird! Knives were drawn and handbags placed under left arms!! We were going to war!

I wont bore you with the countless photos we took of the water gushing up to a meter from the two 110m pipes and washing the tarmac away, the countless phone calls to the local police, the countless meeting with the mayor and his office staff. I wont bore you with the corrupt ex mayor who gave the 'Obra Mionr' or the corrupt council architect who allowed all the building to take place. I won't bore you with the local magistrate getting involved who just happened to be a friend of the builder and was feeding him information about our complaint. I won't bore you with the fact that even whilst under investigation the builder managed to get council approved yellow lines and a no parking plate put on his wall (the lane is only four mt wide) I won't bore you with the concrete ramp that the builder put across half the public road. I won't boar you with him being reported for draining the chlorinated water from his swimming pool on agricultural land.................. In fact I cut to the chase.

For all the complaints we filed against him he received a €91 fine and a year to remove the offending pipes.

This man built a fucking house on an 'Obra Minor' He build a swimming pool with out a licence. He wrecked a public pathway. And the worst of all his wife gave Mrs Pelinor the FUCKING BIRD!!


The game is on and the gloves are off. They might think they have done their job and made Mrs Pelinor happy. But I am slow to to anger and they will see this chase hotly followed. They will see me coming in fearist tempest, in thunder and in earthquake like a Jove and I will compel!!!

Watch this space......

[Janet]

and this builder ... is a Canario?   

[Guanche]

Yes Janet.  As I say I am slow to anger and take offence even when I can see whats going on under my nose. I've done with making waves and looking for trouble . Done that wrote the book and stared in the film! But this little fucker has crossed the line. I have kept out of the way and let the wife do the shouting and very good she is at it. But, and this is no insult, it's one thing for a woman to complain in Spain and another for a man. And of course I am quite used to 'legally' speaking on the hoof so no amateur civil fucking servant is going to piss on my head and tell me it's fucking raining!

[Nova]

Outrageuos!!  I'm sure you could find a kid with a box of matches to play nearby while you and Mrs P go out somewhere very visible for the evening 

[Guanche]

Won't have to Nova the bloody thing is falling down anyway! He seems to have made a speciality of buying derelict buildings and just doing what the hell he felt like and selling them on. But with this one he came unstuck and now he can't sell it. So he reduced the price to a gift and still can't get shut. As I've said he's friends with the local lay Magistrate. He has been hiring the place out over the summer months and officiating marriages there!! So a trip to the Hacienda may be in order and of course the Gaurdia Civil as they would prosecute for the pollution on the agricultural land even if it belongs to the local council. Then of course there is the question of the Obra Minor and no licence for the swimming pool which one must have and that comes from Santa Cruz and isn't cheap.

They thought they we're dealing with a pair of numptys, one of them a bloody foreigner, bad move!

[Michael]

Ok, i'm ready. This is gonna be a doozie. 

[Guanche]

Best get a lorry load Michael, this has been going on for the past two years! We're off to the mayor in the next few weeks,but since he has changed from the PP to some other party I don't expect any progress.... But I will ensure I will ruffle more than a few feathers amongst the standing staff, and with hope give some a few sleepless nights!
Did I mention that when I registered locally they gave me a form which included my previous employment to which I replied Police Commandant and European lawyer.........

[Myrtle Hogan-Lance]

Now that is a Tenerife rant!!!!

Well done Pelinor and Mrs P.  My money is on you.

And if Pedro the builder happens to vacate and his pipes happen to be routed so as to not enter your grating system, so much the better.  He he he....

Keep us posted on this one!!

[Perikles]

Have you considered making a denuncia againt him with the environment agency? They are Cabildo run and independent of local collusion. If they were to get interested, he would be in real trouble. 

[Guanche]

Have you considered making a denuncia againt him with the environment agency? They are Cabildo run and independent of local collusion. If they were to get interested, he would be in real trouble. 

Thats why I mentioned the Guardia Civil P as I believe they are the 'Environment Police' But your suggestion seems better. We received a copy of the councils decision that was served on him, and one thing stipulates that he has to direct all drainage including the water from the pool into what I assume is a 'Soak away'. My concern is that the council is not taking into account the chlorinated water that will seep into the water table, if Tenerife has a water table?