Casting call for Ron Howard’s remake of Moby Dick to be filmed in La Gomera

[Janet]

You may have heard that the famous Hollywood director Ron Howard is to  film a remake of Moby Dick in La Gomera. It will be called Heart of the Sea, and filming is set to take place over the next few months. A week ago today there was a casting for extras in La Gomera, and a week tomorrow, 2 September, it will be Tenerife's chance. Extras will be given a contract and an alta for social security. Particularly sought are those, men, women and children, of all ages, with indigenous Latin American, African and mixed race features: Casting Canarias insist that this is not a racial categorization, and that anyone will be considered if they can be passed off as swarthy. Registration is not required, applicants should simply turn up at Teatro Leal in La Laguna on 2 September for the casting, which will take place between 9am and 6pm. More information is available at Casting Canarias - the link is to their Facebook page since their website is having work done on it. HERE

[Nova]

...with indigenous Latin American, African and mixed race features: Casting Canarias insist that this is not a racial categorization...

I find that sad that  they can't just advertise for the ethnic features needed to lend realism to the film.

...anyone will be considered...

So shall I put in then? 

[Myrtle Hogan-Lance]

When is somebody going to look for pale white women?  I have no chance at stardom if these people keep looking for dark skinned people. 

[Nova]

Shall we make our own film, Myrtle? 

[Michael]

I could take my clothes off and audition for the part of the whale. 

[Myrtle Hogan-Lance]

Shall we make our own film, Myrtle? 

Yes, let's.  So far we've got two pale white women and a naked whale.  Let's film here so we don't have to go anywhere and can use the wonderful scenery of Tenerife.  Now we need a story to fit around the cast. 

[Janet]

we might also have a donkey, or at least half of one, and a pirate with an eye patch .....

[Nova]

Hmmm, let me see.... imagination isn't my strong point.... 

Once upon a time, two pale white women were walking along a beach of black volcanic sand, when they encountered a naked whale....

Well, it's a start 

[Nova]

....Struggling to carry the naked whale between them, one pale white woman said to the other: "You know, this would be easier if we had a donkey to help with the load".  Sure enough, a few minutes later they met upon a pirate with half a donkey.

"Why do you only have half a donkey?" asked the pale white women of the pirate.
"See this eye patch?" replied the pirate, "I only have one eye, why would I need more than half a donkey?"....

[Myrtle Hogan-Lance]

So they loaded the whale onto the donkey and accepted the pirate's invitation to join him in his cool cave for a drink.  As they sipped their ronmiel, the pirate began to tell them many tales.  Some of them were so preposterous that the whale and the donkey demanded drinks.  Another bottle of ronmiel was sent for.  The pirate had lived on the island for many years and had seen many characters pass through.  He began the tale of ...